Hey everyone,
I don't usually post here, but I think this is a good idea because I need everyone's help and I don't necessarily want Matt to know! Since neither Matt nor I have experienced deployment before, I am looking for some suggestions to help make things easy for his big welcome home. Well, I guess I'm jumping ahead of myself since I don't know when he is coming home, but it's soon!!!!! I have been looking for answers on the web, but haven't had much luck. It's all a bit emotional and overwhelming, so I really would appreciate all the help I can get. I have some questions... not sure where to get answers...
- Do I throw him a welcome home party immediately?
- Who should greet him at the airport? How many people?
- Should I wait a while before throwing a party? How long do I wait?
- What kind of party do I throw? Alcohol? No? Loud music?
- Formal party, or casual, laid back? Lunch or dinner?
- What do we talk about? Can I ask about his experience in Iraq?
- Is it okay to talk about Iraq?
- Any welcome home banner at the house? Inside or outside?
- Will it be too overwhelming for him? For me?
- Should I decorate the house? The garden outside?
- I don't know what to expect!
- Am I forgetting anything?
- http://forums.military.com I like the idea of lining the street with yellow ribbons and having a "welcome home" banner inside the house.
- Here's another forum
- http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1074391/posts
- http://redcouch.typepad.com/weblog/2007/02/coming_hme_from.html
- http://www.duckdaotsu.org/cominghome_hub_page.html
I could really use your support. Thanks and love, mowie
PS: Because this is such a special unique experience, I'd like to keep this and your responses on the blog for everyone to read. There's so much involved with deployment that it will all mean something to each one of us.
10 comments:
Hey Sonya,
Since I'm from a military family, I can venture some guesses about everything...
* First, I would suggest the party be a day-long event. Sort of like a long Super Bowl party. Why? Well, Matt has been in the Middle East for a LOONG time. No doubt there will be time zone issues, so who knows just how long he will be coherent or when during the day he will be alert. Who knows? He may be nodding off to sleep at 3 in the afternoon!
* All the Iraq talk--I would say it probably won't be a big deal, but definitely ask him. Casually, if you'd like ("When you get back, can I ask you about Iraq?"). I haven't spoken to him since he left, so I don't know what his feeling is about the war over there. If he had bad experiences, then obviously it might be a sore subject, but if it was relatively routine, then it probably won't be a big deal.
* Don't mention a party, but ask him what he'd like when he got home. He's probably going to be expecting something anyway, right?
Hope this helps a tiny bit. Someone else might be able to provide more substantial advice.
Michael
Wow...I think first off that you'll probably want to wait on throwing a big party - there's no telling how wrung out he's going to be from the flight(s) and what level of coherency he might have. :) The day-long event sounds pretty good - but isn't that what most of the Thirsty Trio events end up being? ;)
Might be better to do the welcome home at the airport with whoever can make it, then whisk him off home. It lets him see everyone (and vice versa), maybe chat a little, and if he's up for it, maybe everyone goes and mobs a Denny's (or local bar) on the way to continue the conversations. If he's exhausted, people'll be a bit more considerate of the fact that he just stumbled off a plane and needs some rack time.
And I'd definitely agree with Michael's comment - ask Matt how he wants to see everyone. He may want to do dinners or something with smaller groups of people and then have a bigger party (Christmas? New Year's?) where he sees everyone else. Or he may just say, "To hell with it, I'm gonna have to tell the same damned stories anyways," and do the one big party. ;)
Hi Sonya, My guess would be that Matt is going to want to hide away for a while and detox. I did get an opportunity to speak with him on the phone (briefly) last week and he said as much. If his return is at or near Christmas, my guess would be that he would want to head home to his family in Houston (where of course you would be waiting for him). Should that be the case, it makes things easier. When you fly back to Los Angeles, as many of us as possible can meet him at the airport and then head to the house for a hugh welcome home party. By then, he will be anxious to talk about Iraq and his experiences.
Nancy
Hi guys,
I forgot to mention that I've been asking Matt what kind of welcome home he wants - but his answer is, "Whatever you want, baby". Needless to say, it doesn't help me much!
We also talked about a party, but since we will be heading to Houston for Xmas I am not sure how the timing will work :)
mowie
Hi.
I will read some of those articles you posted. I also found this one:
http://www.howtodothings.com/careers/how-to-celebrate-the-homecoming-of-a-soldier
(nothing scary in there)
Here are my 2 cents so far:
1) You can have alcohol as long as everyone knows not to pressure him into getting wasted.
2) We should get a big cake :) This doesn't have to be patriotic per say (although it can be). It could be a photo of him or themed with things he likes - University of Texas, bulldogs, etc.
3) We should make a huge banner for him. For the party - but also to be hanging at the house when her gets there for the first time. - Before he comes home, maybe you can put together an afternoon where people can come help put this together.
4) He loves Bluebell ice cream. It is pretty expensive ($89, for four half gallons), but you can have them overnight it in dry ice.
5) I think some flags & yellow ribbons would be nice. It doesn't have to be over the top, but they should at least be present.
6) This is up to the 2 of you, but I don't know if he would want it to be at his house. It might be a bit much for him to have to deal with. Maybe Neuenberg or Wil can host.
That's all I can think of for now. Of course I will be on hand for helping in any fashion.
I think you should involve him in this. Ask him what he wants. This includes who should come greet him at the airport. He might want just you :)
Hi Sonya,
I have been reading some of the comments and I agree that you should wait a few days before putting anything together. I am sure that Matt will want to chill out and spend some time with you and get acclimated to the time zone as well as just being home. Why don't we set something big up for the weekend after he gets back. I am sure individuals will just show up on their own during the week. Elliott and I are happy to help out. Matt will be super stoked that all his friends are there, I wouldn't worry about making such a huge production out of it. However, if you want to make a huge production, I am happy to help out.
Hey all, I agree and think it's a good idea that I pick him up at the airport and give him a few days to recuperate. I've already told him this and he seems to think that it might be a burden for me to drive to San Diego to pick him up. Umm... I don't know where he gets that idea from!
Secondly, I guess we can play it by ear to throw him a welcome home bash. Though I like having parties at home, I would like for him to have a place to go and hide in if necessary - so we should probably do it at someone else's house, or a local friendly restaurant. Lauren recently suggested her house too!
The idea of a big hanging banner sounds really great! We can get this signed in advanced and hang it in the house when he gets home. I haven't read the articles, but I agree that it might be overwhelming if he comes home to a house full of people. A banner is less invasive and he'll still feel loved and remembered. I could use some help decorating the house, ie: yellow ribbons and whatever people usually do.
What do you guys think?
PS: Thank you guys for all the feedback and comments. You have no idea how helpful and great it is to have friends who care. Love ya, mowie
Hi Soyna,
I think friends meeting him at the airport and chillin at a bar/food joint is a good warm up, then later a big time bash. You're more than welcome to use my house to throw the shin dig in case Matt wants his privacy at his house. We can have it all day if you like so he can some and go when he pleases. If you need any help, count me in!
Dennis P.
Zetty,
The article is really good (http://www.howtodothings.com/careers/how-to-celebrate-the-homecoming-of-a-soldier)
You're right that it's not scary and there are a few good tips, especially about leaving politics at the door. I don't have much of a knack of it since I really am a Canadian peace lover at heart, so I rarely bring this up too!
I also agree with not reminding him of the war zone and to keep those topics at bay. Unless of course, he wants to bring it up himself. What I've noticed that makes him happy is when others update him on their own lives, happenings, local events etc. There's only so much happening in Iraq... and it's becoming somewhat of a sore subject. Repeating his experiences in Iraq can be unwelcoming and uncomfortable...
Anyway, I read it! Not scary at all. Thanks :)
mowie
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